Ben’s Story

Becoming a parent was one of the biggest shocks I’ve ever experienced & I don’t say that lightly!

“You think you know what having a baby will be like, but nothing really prepares you for what it actually feels like when it happens. The first few days after Ivy was born were overwhelming. Life changed instantly and completely, and I struggled to adjust to that change. I’m autistic, and while I can cope with change, I need time to understand it properly in order to regulate how I respond emotionally. I found myself becoming very overstimulated, particularly by Ivy crying in the early weeks, the crying affected me in a way I wasn’t expecting. I would feel anxious and even have heart palpitations.

With a newborn, everything feels unpredictable. You might feel like you’ve found a routine one week, only for it to disappear the next. Even simple things like getting up in the morning, showering, or getting dressed became unpredictable, especially if we hadn’t slept well. It wasn’t that I regretted becoming a parent, but “I genuinely worried about whether I was capable of doing this. My confidence was very low. I wasn’t thinking weeks or months ahead – I was just trying to get through the next few hours.

That’s when I reached out to Home-Start Bracknell Forest

I needed guidance and reassurance. I needed help to believe that things could get better and that I would eventually feel comfortable as a parent. I knew Home‑Start wasn’t therapy, but talking regularly to someone who was calm, non‑judgemental and respectful made an enormous difference.

At that time, my wife was recovering from giving birth and facing her own challenges as a first‑time mum. While I could speak to my family, it wasn’t always easy to say how bad things felt, especially when I worried about their reactions.

My volunteer Mandy, was incredible

She brought both practical experience and emotional support. She shared tips, resources, videos, and ideas that had worked for other families. These small, practical suggestions often made a real difference when we were facing a particular challenge. Just having those options helped me feel less lost as a first‑time parent.

But more than that, Mandy was someone I felt comfortable with. She never judged what I shared or pushed her own opinions. Sometimes I found myself over‑analysing things – like whether we could ever have a second child – and Mandy helped me separate how I felt in the moment from what I truly believed long‑term.

There was one particular day when Ivy was inconsolable, and I couldn’t settle her at home. Mandy suggested putting her in the pushchair and going for a walk. Ivy fell asleep, and the whole evening improved after that. At the time, I wouldn’t have thought of that myself. That experience taught me something important: “I have options. There are tools I can use.” That realisation stuck with me.

Home-Start helped me see parenting more realistically

I began to understand that bad days don’t last forever. Sleep regressions pass. Routines change again. Often, those difficult phases come with positives, like Ivy developing new skills. With support, I learned to remind myself of that rather than feeling trapped in the hard moments.

As a dad, I think it’s important to say this: “Men need support too!” I never felt judged or dismissed because I wasn’t the mum. The feelings I had in those early days were real and valid, and similar to what many mothers experience. I think more dads probably feel this way than we talk about.

Now, I’m in a much better place. I feel like I can do this. Home‑Start Bracknell Forest didn’t just help me – it helped our whole family. Home‑Start stepped in when I needed it most and gave me exactly the support I needed. I’m incredibly grateful. One day, I’d even consider volunteering myself, to support other dads who might be feeling the same way I did.

Laura’s Story

I never ever thought I would need anything like Home-Start

“To be honest, I had never heard of Home-Start, and I certainly wouldn’t have thought it was something I could use.
I wasn’t on benefits or single. I had a lovely partner, a son, and I was expecting twins.
I can honestly say I never ever thought I would need anything like Home-Start.

Then the pandemic happened

I was now home schooling my older son, who has an ADHD diagnosis, during his first year of Secondary school.
Our twins were born via C-section. Due to being in lockdown, I gave birth on my own.
One twin was born with a heart condition, meaning a four month stay in Southampton, again alone, and away from my boys, my partner, and my family. My partner was now working 10-hour days in London, and I would say we were in a pretty bad way…… 

Anne came at the perfect time

Someone told me about Home-Start. I said I don’t need that, but I could just ring and see what’s it’s about.

I first met Val (Family Coordinator), who was kind, friendly, positive and such a warm person – I was really hoping she was my volunteer!
Val said she had someone perfect for me. I was nervous about it, but excited to receive support and company. Her name was Anne. And even though it was a scary time with the pandemic, Anne was still offering to volunteer and visit me – I couldn’t really believe it!

Anne came at the perfect time each week and never cancelled once. She came on time and was more than I could ever imagine really. She was such a blessing to us all.

Each week the boys recognised Anne and would love her visits. We went to the park, we went on walks, we read books. Anne would feed them dinner, and most weeks she was covered in food and mess!

The boys adored her, and we would laugh at all they would get up to. They would look for Anne’s puppet bag each week!
She would listen to my moans and accepted my eldest son not even talking for most of the time – and that was the norm. I felt relaxed around Anne. We really did get to know each other. The boys would sit on her lap, and she would sing with them.
Quite honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better person to come into our life.

Anne was the calm in my storm. I thought we would have Anne for 12 weeks, but our support continued for 6 months.

I moved house (and Anne helped support us through that), we have had hospital trips, more check-ups, both of us have had covid, and still we would make sure we could see each other and get a visit in.

I am so grateful to Home-Start

I was prescribed antidepressants at the start of the pandemic but chose not to take them. Instead, I met Anne. I am glad that I didn’t start the antidepressants – I really feel that Anne’s support and time has helped me so much. I am so grateful to Home-Start.
I just wanted to say thank you really and truly, and maybe one day I can become a volunteer and help someone just as much as Anne and Val helped us.”

Melissa’s Story

To view the video click on the play button in the centre of the video image below. 

Sharon’s Story

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